Death to Self
Dear Old Me,
I know how much you're hurting, how worthless and numb you feel. I know how much hatred you have for yourself. Your daydreams are consumed by the relief you think you'll feel by just ending it all, shutting off these thoughts for good. You believe this is the only answer to getting that freedom and peace you so long for. But I have some good news for you: you're wrong.
Trying to explain to you at this moment how divine and life changing God's love is would be empty. It is such a foreign concept to you that you won't be able to grasp it. But a friend is going to identify the enemy in your life and things are really going to start clicking. You may not know His love yet, but an enemy in your life, and having a battle to fight, now that, you know well.
Little by little you're going to learn how to fight this battle with the Lord by your side. You just need to keep looking to Him for the answers. Keep showing up, digging deeper into that Bible, keeping your eyes and ears open for the holy spirit. There's gonna be a day where you see and hear him everywhere. He's going to teach you how to stand your ground and fight. Teaching you that ultimately this battle belongs to him and he has the victory over it.
Wanna guess your favorite part? You still get that death. You get to die to yourself, a death that's needed in order for you to live and it is beautiful. It's obvious that living for ourselves has not gone great, heck even trying to live for our family hasn't been the answer that you thought it would be. But now is the time to die to yourself, be renewed and to live. He has created you worthy of living a life for and through him. New “you” still can't even comprehend how much he loves and adores you. Just you wait, the Lord's gonna set you on fire for the life he created you for and give you a new identity beyond what you could ever imagine.
I know you don't believe me. It all sounds too good to be true. But please, I’m begging you—just keep showing up. I promise you that the freedom and peace you long for are on their way. You’re going to be overflowing with so much love and gratitude that you won’t know what to do with it. A beautiful life worth living is just around the corner, and spoiler alert: it’s found in Him.
Old me, you got your wish…you're gone…praise the Lord.
We pray that we may die to ourselves in order to live fully for Him, allowing Him to work something new within us and transform us into who He created us to be. We pray that we seek joy in the peace and freedom He offers on this side of the kingdom when we choose to surrender ourselves. We pray that the enemy, whether it appears as depression or any other mental illness, is recognized in your life, so you may know who you are up against. May you invite the Lord into your battle and experience how life-changing it can be to fight with Him by your side.
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." (2 Corinthians 5:17)
